Getting Real: Parenting a Child with a Speech Delay

After a roller-coaster week of Summer Kindergarten Transition, I decided to finally write down some thoughts I've been having all school year long. I'm adding this to my series of "getting real".

Clayton will be 5 in July & we've know for almost 2 years that he's been speech delayed.  He was tested through the state and started in pre-school and let me tell you- we were blessed with an amazing team from his teacher, his aides, and his therapists.  He came so far from being in pre-school with specialists around him. But there's still room for improvement...and that's where the frustration and disheartenment creeps in.  Let me preface this by saying, Clayton is the sweetest most loving boy I've ever known, and I'm not saying that just because I'm his Mom!  He will compliment you, thank you, call or sir or ma'am and hug you goodbye all meeting you for the first time.  He makes me so extremely happy every single day.  

Having a child who is delayed, in whatever area it may be, can pull at your motherly emotions whenever you you think about where they should be.  After Clayton was first analyzed/observed, I remember crying feeling like I had failed as a mother.  Here was the only job I had to do, and I hadn't even done it correctly and needed other's help.  Lots of help.  Help with things I don't know how to do.  And honestly, the feelings have never really disappeared. They're just now accompanied by hope, motivation and pride.  

Does it sound like a roller coaster? Probably because it is.  Sometimes it's a daily one, other times I can stay at a the high point for days or weeks. One of the things that most often makes my heart ache is hearing other kids Clayton's age having conversations with their parents or trying to have conversations with him. Because they're normal conversations, and complete sentences versus Clayton needing prompting to "fill in" words between his main idea words.

But you know what?  He is so happy.  He is full of life and energy.  He is social and active and has no physical limitations.  Sometimes things beyond our capabilities happen with no fault of our own.  Clayton loves with a fierceness, and I instilled that in him.  I have helped him develop so many other incredible qualities.  So for now, I try to focus on those high points of this roller coaster.  Because, "this too shall pass".  There IS so much constant improvement and development that I need to remind myself that many others aren't doing.  

And so to you mothers, who maybe feel like you didn't or aren't doing it right...you are because you are loving them with a strong, fierce love that is irreplaceable.  You may shed some tears after you put them to bed, or sneak a piece of chocolate to help get you through your day, and that's okay.  Without the lows, we wouldn't appreciate the highs.  And boy, are there so many amazing high points!!  They will never stop needing you, and being there for them is the greatest challenge we may ever be blessed with.

image sources: one // two // three

Getting Real: Parenting a Toddler

In July my son turned 3.  And if you've ever been around a lot of children you can attest to the fact that the "terrible twos" really start before they're even two and last far past it. If there were ever a situation where the term "rollercoaster" would be perfect- it's parenting a toddler.  There are incredible highs and proud moments as they're constantly learning and growing and then suddenly they're having a screaming meltdown in Trader Joe's because he doesn't want to be done pushing his little cart. Yes....I apologize that was my son.

Every so often I get compliments on how well-behaved my son is and in my mind I'm rolling my eyes because "this stranger has no idea what I deal with every single day" and then one day as I was told this I had an epiphany.  He's a toddler and the fact that someone noticed enough even after watching him for an hour felt the need to mention it, should make me proud not only of my son but of myself! Parenting is hard work and I only have one...so when someone pays us a compliment, let's pat ourselves on the back!

print via // Tied Ribbon

If you follow me on instagram, I mention my son hitting some milestones lately.  This past year alone has been full of milestones and accomplishments!  Transitioning out of a crib, potty training, overcoming the fear of pooping in a toilet (something about that was TERRIFYING to him), wearing undies all night, learning to talk, counting, and abc's.  Guys- that's a LOT considering he was completely helpless just 3 years ago!  And it has to do with us- parents. Teaching them, being patient, getting down on our knees to talk and often pick our screaming child up off the floor of Target. (My apologies....again)

I recently found the words, "Clayton, you're so perfect!" escape from my lips before the inevitable tantrum ensued, but really- the good times are AMAZING and though the bad times are often terrible and humiliating, I gladly suffer those for the times of pride, overwhelming happiness and bliss of my 3 year old.

print via // brim papery

So as I often remind myself, I share this reminder with you parents...breathe & enjoy the good times.

Finding Your Inspiration

Do you guys ever come to a point in your life & you feel like you've hit this brick wall.  Your creativity is gone & just sitting around and trying to come up with new ideas just isn't working?  As a blogger and general crafter, this tends to happen more than I'd like.  So I want to share MY personal ways to re-start that creative section in my brain.

This is SO so SO important.  I have had a few different notebooks & I currently have an ugly black & white composition notebook & I always keep my 2 favorite pens handy...a sharpie & a Pilot Acroball Pen (it actually changed my life).  I love being able to write & even draw ideas out that come to me.  I keep blog posts ideas in there, to-do lists, crafts that I'm currently working on....so I'm always looking at it & I can go back to look at, where-as if I just jot down a few words about an idea on my phone's memo pad....it kind of just stays on there until I remember it months down the road & can't even remember what "black stripes on gold" means nothing to me anymore.

 Creativity & inspiration is always around us. Especially through social media.  I follow some amazing people on Instagram, and I often see a picture in someone's feed that sparks an idea- so I screenshot it!  Whatever it is, or wherever it it- take a picture to save it for later.  But to keep it from getting lost- I have a secret pinboard where I upload these photos & add a caption with WHY it inspired or WHAT it inspired & I look at it ALL the time.

Whenever I am blog planning or needing inspiration, I make a conservative effort to stop any other distractions for "x" amount of time to look at my pinboard, or write down ideas, or browse blogs.  One thing I recently got hooked on is webinars & podcasts. ALT has had some amazing free online classes you can sign up for from various people on relatable topics that are 60 minutes and so I sit down (with my notebook) and listen and watch and write.  Elise Blaha has started a great podcast in where she interviews bloggers & I do the same thing. Take the time to feel inspired.

Going along with "making time for it", one of my favorite things to do when I'm in a creative rut is to get out.  Whether it's to spend time in nature, or at craft stores or even Target- getting out and looking at things in real life (as opposed to online) can spark creativity when you can hold an amazing product in your hand or see something beautiful.

To keep myself from screen-shoting and pinning a million different pictures, I stop and think- what is it about this "thing" that makes me want to save it? Is it...the color, the lettering, the way it's photographed? Think about it, write it (or caption it) so that you're not just filling your head up with things that you may never be able to pull a good idea from. 

Simplify Your Life & Laundry (Free Printable)

This post is sponsored by P&G. Save on NEW Gain Flings and Tide Pods at Target. Text CLEAN to Target (827438) for mobile coupons*.
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Today I'm getting real again & talking about simplifying your life & laundry. Granted, all our lives are about more than just laundry- but I am always amazed how much dirty clothes & towels my little family of JUST 3 produces! A few times a week in between blogging, nap time, cleaning, family activities, Target runs, cooking & me time...I find myself doing laundry. As if gathering the laundry, hauling it to the washer and sorting aren't enough- I have to try to remember the detergent (oh it's happened more than once), softener & stain remover. Common now....give me a break. 

Cue these amazing guys......

Gain Fling & Tide Pods.  All the steps, measuring & cluttering bottles condensed into one little package! Just toss it in & your laundry comes out clean & fresh! (My favorite right now is the Flings for their AMAZING scents...they have 2 different ones!)

Yup, just this little thing.  But don't be deceived...these little pods pack more scent than even the regular stuff & still deliver amazing clean results!  One of my favorite things about them? They're available at Target...because let's be real- we're all there about once a week, right?!  So simplify your life with Tide Pods & Gain Flings . Because a few less steps every time you do laundry adds up to a simpler life. 

To make you feel a little happier & that laundry room a little brighter, I'm sharing a free printable!

Wash, Dry, Fold, Repeat....repeat repeat repeat repeat....

Wash Printables

Being a Mom to "Just One"

See this cute little man? He is 2.6 years old, he has an infectious laugh, a smile that gets him out of trouble, skinny chicken legs, a giant personality & I'm completely obsessed with him.

Today I want to share my thoughts & feelings (that I'm sure other mothers have) of why I'm perfectly content with "just" one.

If you've been around here to read my post about Being a Young Mom, you'll know that Clayton came when I wasn't sure if I was ready & now I cannot imagine my life without him.  Everyday he makes me laugh & often cry...because that's part of motherhood too.  Somedays I struggle to get everything done I need to AND stay a happy mom.  It's hard- especially with a toddler! 

To quote one Charlotte York, "Being a parent is so hard, and I have full-time help. How do the mothers without nannies do it?" 

Amen sister. Yes, babies are cute but even when I have the tiniest inclination for another, my lovely child throws a tantrum & I remember how much patience just this one takes.  Being an impatient person, I'm sure my sanity cannot handle 2 little ones right now. I want to be a great mother & I feel like I'm still learning how to deal with just this 1....will I ever be completely "prepared"? Probably not, but mentally ready is definitely something I can works towards.

 & like I said...I'm obsessed.  Like, wanna squeeze all day, can't stop telling him I love him & kiss him a silly amount. (so much so that he's starting kissing his toys often because that what you do with something you love, right?!) And honestly, I don't know how I could love another one this much...how is it possible to have even more room in my heart? I just feel like I can never get enough.  Even with breaks, and some times much needed naps, I still cannot wait to have him back in my arms & hear his cute conversations.

Now, everyone else I know that has a child Clayton's age is either pregnant or already has their 2nd. You guys go! You grow your little family! Trust me, one day I will too when the timing is right....but for right now, I'm 110% content with spending everyday being completely infatuated with "just" my one.  And I think that's okay....to take time with our little ones. To focus on them, because they'll just be the only child once, right? I'm still learning, growing, working on patience, teaching, having fun & loving on this cute one.  

What's (really) In My BAG

So I thought it'd be fun to share what's REALLY in my purse...as in- "I'm a mom & only keep realistic things I need in my giant bag".  So aside from plenty of fruit snack wrappers & various snacks- this is what you'll always find in my purse.

(High five to my wonderful mom who gave me this Fossil bag for Christmas in the Pantone color of the year- I might add!)

1- extra gum (in some variety of mint)

2. sunglasses 

3. diapers & wipes

4. wallet (really old one from target)

5. toys (usually cars)

6. EOS lip balm, ELF lip gloss pen & Carmex gloss (I love using the carmex & ELF pen together!)

7. cough drops (story of my life)

8. 2014 planner & "Take Note" notebook (both from Target)

Needless to say, I'm practical & not so super fancy in the contents! But I'm keeping things real...these are the things I can't live without!

Getting Real: New Blog Feature!

(read the other getting real posts here)

Today I'm so excited to introduce you to an awesome person!  Stevie & I grew up together & now we're both grown-ups with husbands & children of our own!  She just started her own blog called "Confessions of a Real Life Housewife" and it's the perfect dose of reality for any mom.  She puts into words what all of "less-than-perfect" but frequently documented as "perfect" lives are REALLY like.  

All of our lives are often crazy, ridiculous & sometimes require just laughing it off, because ladies- we're not the only ones feeling that way!

Thanks Stevie for starting this fun blog & I hope you'll all follow along with her!

getting real: modesty.

It's time for another edition of "Getting Real"....today's topic? Modesty.

(everyone take a deep breath before we begin because we're about to get personal)

I grew up & am still a member of the LDS faith, and have been taught & still maintain personal modesty.  I did & still do this not because I was told to, but because I believe that my Father in Heaven wants me to treat my body as a temple & not as an object to be flaunted around.  

Before I go further, I want to share the video that I'm sure many of you have seen- but if not (and even if you have...) it is definitely worth your time.

I watched this 3 times because she put it so eloquently how important modesty is to every. single. woman.

"Modesty is about revealing our dignity" & "How will you use your beauty" are my 2 favorite lines from her speech.  Young, old, single, married, mother, sister, aunt......every woman has the ability to use their body & their beauty for their own good.  Not be looked at by others as an object.

Getting Real: Your Perfect Life.

read my first "getting real" post here.

Have you read this article, "Instagram's Envy Effect"?  Shauna Niequist, the author, made so many good points. Seriously, go read it....I'll wait.

I was talking with some new blogging friends about how we love Instagram because we get see more of the "real life" from other bloggers we follow but may not know in person.  I agree- I love it because I can share what's happening without over-doing it on Facebook.  But I'll be honest, something it gets to me. No matter what media outlet, every once in a while I've found myself thinking, "I'm not doing enough as a mom", "My house isn't as cute as theirs", "I wish I had these clothes" and "Their family looks so perfect!" 

So let's get real, I instagram a "perfect life" most of the time, but here's an example.

The caption of this one read: "proof that my child is not always perfect."  Because every other picture of him on my feed makes him look that way!  My son throws tantrums (more lately, thank you terrible 2's), cries and lately turns away and says "no" when I try to snap his picture.

I secretly love when bloggers I follow share pictures like this of their messy craft room, dirty kitchen sink and crazy kid's rooms.  It makes me relate to them even more!  So here's your friend "Getting Real" reminder...none of our lives are perfect & every once in a while, it's okay to share that picture of your child with a messy living room in the background.

on being a young mom.

read the first part of the story here.

(print available at end of post)

The day Clayton was born I was 8 days away from turning 21...and yes- even my husband has a birthday in July!  Needless to say, I was the first one in my circles of friends to be married & have a baby.  I was so nervous & anxious my whole pregnancy about if I'd be able to be a good mom.

I remember being pregnant and although I was excited I was sure I'd still need a "real job" & so I went on maternity leave rather than quitting out right.  We didn't need the money, but I thought I'd need the time away.  

But the week before I was supposed to return to work- I knew I couldn't.  Even a few days a week was too much away from my new favorite person.  I'm pretty sure my boss saw it coming, though.  And so here I am 19 months later- still infatuated with a little boy whole stole my heart.

I get asked by my friends how I like being a Stay-At-Home-Mom, and I tell them I love it.  Somedays are harder than others, but I believe there is nothing more precious than being able to raise our little ones.  I am so grateful that my husband is blessed with a great job that allows me to not have to work.  And I wish every mom could do the same.  He teaches me to be patient, to find joy in the little things, to slow down, to explore, to laugh and to not be so serious.

So am I a good mom? I like to think so.  Am I a perfect mom?  Far from it, but everyday I try my best to love & care for Clayton as our Heavenly Father would.

I didn't know I'd love being a full-time mom as much as I do or as young as I am.  But I do. And it's just as simple as that.

photography by Wendy Larson of Stem & Leaf

Motherhood Quote by Katie Anne Carranza

our love story.

I wanted to share a post about being a mom with you- but thought I'd better share a little background on how I became a mom.

download this print here

In 2008, I was in San Diego, CA- a senior in high school.  Robert had just gotten back from serving his 2-year mission for our church in Oklahoma and was living near his family in Tucson, AZ.  He came out to visit a friend, who was also my friend too & we met & I started crushing on him. 

We texted every once in a while- but I was still in high school, so he kept his distance.  

Then in 2009, I was in my second semester of college in San Diego, and he was still in Tucson working & going to school.  I wanted to move to Mesa, AZ & so did he, and we really started talking all the time.  Then one day he told me he wanted to come out & visit me.  I freaked out.  I remember telling my "sister" that I didn't want to hang out with him because I wanted nothing to with a long-distance relationship.  But she urged me to just see how things were- and thank goodness she did.  We quickly fell in love with each other- but wanted to take our time and get to know each other and make plans.  

 So we dated long-distance for a year full of visits in San Diego & Tucson.

A year later, he proposed in the San Diego Padres baseball stadium.  (a favorite and sentimental place to us.)

And 5 months later, we were married for time & all eternity in the San Diego temple.  Then off to Tucson I went to start a new life with my amazing new husband.

And just a few months later, we were blessed to find out we were expecting our first baby boy!  Clayton was born July 11, 2011 in Tucson. And he forever changed our lives for the better.

Getting Real: The Girl Behind the Blog

Let's get real. 

(As if I'm not open enough!)

I started writing this post on Friday (see above photo) & I am actually going to finish this post at 9:15 pm on Wednesday.  I just got home from a church activity tonight, I have decorations to unpack & a kitchen to wipe down and clothes to pick up. Am I doing any of that? Nope- and I'll probably even leave it until tomorrow because I am just that beat.  

Tomorrow (Thursday) I am getting my wisdom teeth taken out and I am dreading it more that when I went in to be induced.  (I hate the dentist THAT much!) Good news?  The dentist goes to our church and his assistant is my sister-in-law!  Bad news?  My husband will have to work Friday, so I am grateful for Tangled and my friend to come and help me with C-dog. 

More real, you ask?  I burned myself (again) today with a hot glue gun.  Took skin right off my finger.  It's disgusted and it was stupid.  Can I get an amen from you hot gluers?

Our bed sheets are in the dryer and I will probably fall asleep by 10 pm.  Tomorrow I'm hoping to get a Friday Favorites post written up tomorrow (pre-dentist).

Final thought: I am now dreading the dentist & post-dentist effects more than before I wrote this post!

Now get real with me!  Where are you, what are you doing, what are you procrastinating?! Or are you all perfect? :)